Are you crazy, you idiot? Do you
know how much that church clock cost?
My name is Eugen. Enough said.
Because that spells a difficult youth.
This is our house.
Not just any old house,
Fritzli Bühler, the fabled
King of Rascals, once lived here.
Today he is a famous treasure hunter.
A treasure map
he bought from a Genovese sailor
made him the first human to reach
the dreaded Lake Titicaca.
He brought civilization.
All of a sudden, he realized
he must have left the map at home.
He returned at once.
The map remained lost.
Until one day Franz fished
Fritzli Bühler's safari shirt
out of the drain in our cellar.
Professor Gantenbein,
who had discovered
the language barrier, said:
This artifact is at least 300 years old.
Oh my Gosh!
Fritzli Bühler went on to live in Zurich,
where he found a lot to civilize.
Every year he wrote Auntie Melanie,
whose tenant he had been, a postcard.
She still lives on the 1st floor.
Come here, Miss Kitty!
She falls head over heels for kittens.
Aren't you hungry, Miss Kitty?
Do I have to call Dr Walter?
This is Uncle Herman, a big war hero.
The Swiss government awarded him
a box of waterproof matches.
Hermann, help!
But then he married Auntie Melanie.
She never let him breathe the open air.
He inexplicably began
playing with his food.
Soon after that he passed away.
Explicably.
Hermann! Fetch a doctor!
I live on the 2nd floor
and my best buddy Franz one floor up.
Franz! Lunch is ready!
Franz is battling Auntie Melanie's
underwear, what with him being
Berne's bravest knight.
He fears only the day when he'll first
have to kiss a girl.
This is Eduard.
He's already repeated 2 years in school
and can eat a whole piglet in one go.
And this girlie is Bäschteli.
He's a rich kid and breaks as
easily as crockery. He has no buddies,
that's why he hangs around us.
No, don't!
Well! Have we caught a fish?
It's... Klameth!
Goddammit!
I'll be darned!
Mr. Klameth?
This must have fallen out of your pocket.
Cause it's still warm.
You mangy Dook!
I might have guessed you were behind this
Just you wait, sonny!
I shall smash thy bone!
From then on Franz was no longer called
Franz, but Wrigley.
Edi, help me!
I got him.
I don't got him!
Where's the fire? - Up there!
Fire and brimstone! Get out!
Help me!
Get the ladder up!
Real buddies hang on to each other.
Me,
Bäschteli,
Eduard
and Wrigley. The same summer,
we were to become
the most famous rascals in Switzerland.
You're about to see what happened.
Berne 1964
Once a week our teacher Klameth
would drag us to the museum
for an art class. He never came in,
as he had to take his medicine and buy
more at the drugstore.
Art is only for little
girls and little Bäschtelis.
Where are they?
Dunno.
And as Wrigley and I were proper
men and Eduard had even shaved once,
we felt that we had a higher
and indeed heavier calling.
Stout warriors, fair maidens!
I, Sir Ironhat, invite you to
a murderous joust in my castle.
But, Sir Ironhat,
where's your iron hat?
Squire! Hold forth the iron hat!
Bow thy head, noble knight!
Are you nuts? That hurts!
Get out of my way.
What are you doing?
You've slain Wrigley!
A little love tap never hurt anyone.
Lord Almighty!
Put that armor back at once.
Shut up.
Right.
And now, back to work!
It's no good.
Torture chamber
Are you crazy?
The others have all gone home.
That means I have to go, too.
I'm sure my mom's worried.
You can’t just leave me here!
You'll need a blacksmith. I'm hungry. Come.
What?
Help! Help!
Stop those brats!
Stop them! Police!
Jesus Christ!
Devil's brew!
And so, under cover of darkness,
we decided to make our way to my room.
The only place we'd be safely safe.
Half past nine.
I'll knock his block off!
That's the only way he'll learn.
Wrigley. It'll be all right.
What if your parents come in?
They won't, I'm sure.
Sure they'll come. Mine as well.
And then Wrigley had a brilliant idea.
He, his knightly highness, would lie down.
I, his faithful squire,
would be on guard, battle-axe in hand.
What? - My foot.
Do you know what time it is?
And what is this?
Hello, Mrs. Pfister.
That must hurt him.
Shut up. I'll be the judge of that.
Do you know what it's worth?
The museum bought this helmet
and the armor in 1926 for 22'540 francs.
The inflation brings it to 40'328 francs.
Roughly as much as the mortgage your
mum and I took out on this flat.
You'll cost us the roof over our heads!
You're off to work on a farm
for the summer holidays
and you'll pay the repairs on this helmet
What about the scouts' camp?
Cancelled.
And if you overdo
it again in the next few days,
you're off to boarding school, so you'll
be away from that brat Eugen.
Eugen. That Franz is the worst choice
for a buddy. And you can forget
about the scouts' camp.
But... - You'll help Auntie Melanie
with her garden for the next 4 weeks.
But everybody goes to that summer camp.
Is your name Everybody?
But I don't want to go to college.
Humanity begins with academia.
But you're just an accountant, Dad.
And Mom is just a mom!
YESTERDAY MORNING
Look out! Crocodile at port!
I said port, knucklehead!
This won't do.
We must plug the leaks
before setting off for Titicaca.
Right. Tomorrow we'll test
this baby for real on the Aare River
Okay? - No problem.
Hey, you up there! Quiet please!
Miss Kitty is sleeping.
Luckily for us, Miss Kitty did not
suffer permanent damage...
Aunt Melanie?
Aunt Melanie, however...
Miss Kitty? Hermann, help!
Stop it! Stop it!
It's not that bad.
I am swimming. - Come on.
Don't be so stubborn!
What are you looking at?
Did you work on this ceiling?
Stalder, the great do-it-yourselfer!
I haven't done anything. It was your son.
You're to blame for this hole.
Your insurance will have to pay!
I'll shut your own hole if you keep on
about my insurance!
Did your wife even make the payments?
Now what? Lf we wait for them to calm down
we'll be down here for 100 years.
No. If we find this treasure
we'll be so rich
we won't ever have to go back home.
Come on!
We don't even know where this is!
Fritzli Bühler does, though.
We're going to Zurich.
Are you crazy? You know that's dangerous?
My dad got his pocket picked there
at the Sechseläuten parade.
Scaredy cat! Fritzli will be so amazed
when we turn up with his map.
He'll take us with him.
Where are you going?
None of your business.
If you don't tell me,
I'll tell Dad you're down there.
They're looking for you.
What?
Leave me alone!
Can't you look where you're going?
Watch your own step!
After a moment's reflection
Zurich didn't appear that dangerous.
And so we prepared for our journey.
We're still going to the scouts' camp.
They've gone. Come on!
There we were, speeding towards Zurich
and our hero, Fritzli Bühler,
the King of Rascals.
And not to the scouts' camp
as Wrigley'd made his sister believe.
Wrigley'd learnt about red herrings
in a Karl May Western novel. May got it
from Winnetou who got it from John Wayne.
Sometimes Wrigley had good ideas,
and sometimes not.
What are we going to eat, bonehead?
Your parents have all those tins
in their cellar. Why didn't you bring any?
That's spam.
But we can't take that.
Or else we won't be able to cope
when nuclear war comes.
You'd be the first to stop eating spam.
No problem.
On his expeditions Fritzli Bühler always
lived on what nature had to offer.
But we don't even have a fishing rod.
Fritzli Bühler never harmed
an animal.
He only ate honey and grasshoppers.
So they aren't animals?
That's different, they don't have to die.
Just put them in your mouth carefully.
Alive?
It's still better than kissing a girl.
Come on!
You look for honey in hollow trees
and I'll catch some grasshoppers.
We'll have a feast! Hand over the honey.
There's no honey, let alone hollow trees.
I've looked everywhere.
We'll eat the grasshoppers without honey.
You first.
Tasty?
Without the honey it doesn't slide down.
I could eat a ton of spam right now.
Straight from the tin.
Wrigley? If we leave now
we'll be home in time for breakfast.
My parents want to send me
to a boarding school with monks and nuns
What is in their basement?
A torture chamber where
they give you electroshocks. - Rubbish!
No rubbish! Ask Georges Wenger.
He was sent to boarding school, too.
And no-one's seen him since.
Vot temperature would you like
the water to be, Fräulein Colonel?
Minus 4 degrees, Chief of Staff Doctor.
At your orders, Fräulein Colonel!
Strip, inmate! We have total hygiene here!
No way, not in front of a girl.
Strip at once!
Only if you turn around. Don't peek.
Wrigley was right. There was no turning
back for him. We had to go to Zurich.
Track 1: Train to Lucerne,
Bellinzona, Chiasso. For Zurich
please change trains in Lucerne.
Isn't this Bäschteli's bike?
Goddammit! What are you doing here?
You know it's not allowed! Out, now!
Are you mad?
You damned, rotten!
Bloody rascals! Stop!
What a surprise! Snake and Sniffle!
Sought you could slip in unseen without
your uniforms! Get changed right away!
We forgot our uniforms!
Now we know who'll be slaving in the
kitchen while we have super adventures.
Goddammit!
Gotcha! Come along!
Leave the children alone!
I'm their troop leader.
They are under my authority.
"Children"?
Damned rotten rascals, they are!
Next time I'll call the police!
Kids or no kids!
Have a seat!
Instead of going to Fritz Bühler's
we were forced to go to the scouts' camp.
Wrigley's brilliant red herring
had turned into a hot lead.
My goodness, Lucia!
They are at the scouts' camp!
Fathter!
Singing makes you hungry.
Here. You can have something.
Beef jerky!
My friend, Bäschteli.
My scout name is Tarantula!
Estimable Serene Highness Tarantula.
Will you give us something?
This is all I have till Tuesday,
isn't that right, Bubble?
Come on. Your mother will send
you something on Monday.
There's the syrup. - It's not mine alone.
My parents gave it to the scouts
because of my good grades.
We haven't eaten anything since yesterday
Didn't you hear what Tarantula said?
You're not getting any!
Then came the spiral tunnels at Wassen.
We learnt at school that spiral tunnels
allowed the train to wind its way up
the mountain
like a spiral staircase.
If you don't get this it's okay.
Rubber will prove it to you.
You can prove that all tunnels circle
around. All you need is
a heavy object that you suthspend
on a long string like a pendulum.
It'll oscillate in the same direction
while the train turns underneath.
Raise the syrup bottle!
The mighty Bubble raised the string,
i.e. Eduard.
The knot was tied by me, Snake.
You can try yourselves.
A hiking boot will do, too.
And you all have two of shoes.
One, two, three, go!
Three? Now they are all at an angle
to the mothion of the train.
Look! We're approaching the tunnel...
We're moving in circles.
Wrigley crowned this breakthrough
in modern physics with a great lightshow.
Get down at onthe!
...and he gave the experiment...
I'm coming!
...a real kick in the pants.
Turn the light on, Thniffle!
I'm turning in a circle!
It's coming back!
Shit, oh shit!
Yummy, syrup.
Mr. Conductor.
Doggone and goddammit!
Have you gone mad?
Bloody hell! You blasted rascals!
I'll rip all your heads off!
Thpiral tunnelth. Our bootth.
After Rubber had seen stars
his love of children was gone for good.
Thut up, all of you!
Of course we took the blame.
We'll make Rubber see the northern lights
That slave driver!
10.7 cm?
Ath long ath this pit ithn't
at leatht 1.6 m deep, you'll thleep here.
The ground is much too hard!
It ith too hard? Are you two thithieth?
After we'd finished our forced labor,
it was high time to hightail it.
But this time we'd bring provisions.
Now then, Bäschteli...
My scout name is Tarantula.
Get your mitts off!
Skinflint!
This is for me and Tarantula.
You've repeated 2 years in school.
No, three. Why?
I'll make sure he won't repeat again.
And if you do anyway
they'll send you to retard school!
I've got a plan
to keep you out of school for good.
What kind of plan?
Let me see! - Outside.
It's 300 years old.
If we find this treasure
you'll never have to go back to school.
Oh my gosh!
Well?
I'll have to wrap my head around it.
But right now I'm bushed.
So wrap your blockhead around it.
Phone me if anything comes out.
Dear Rubber.
As you abused us kids so horribly today,
we have to inflict
the punishment you deserve.
We took the liberty of partly cutting
the log. Yes, that one.
This one, too.
Thit, dammit!
What's the matter?
He's mad!
Why are you driving this way?
There's no way I'll let him pass.
He got his license at the supermarket.
Wouldn't hurt to speed things up a bit!
The speed limit is 40 mph! Slow down,
Pfister, or you'll get us all killed!
The boys will reach Mt. Gotthard before us
Jesus Christ on a bike!
Like a Dutchman.
Who's in charge of this camp?
I'm the troop leader, Rubber.
Where are Eugen and Franz?
Eugen and Franth?
Snake and Sniffle.
We're their parents.
Ah. Hello, Mrs... - Pfister.
Tho you had no trouble finding uth?
Thankth to my thketch?
Parent'th Day ith on Thunday,
which ith why I'm here...
Hygiene ith important in a camp.
Right! Stop the babbling!
Washing is pointless here.
Tell me where my son is, you pig!
I'll do a roll call.
Troop Murten? - Fully accounted for.
Troop Thempach? - Fully accounted for.
Troop Marignano? - Fully accounted for.
Troop Morgarten? - Snake, Sniffle, Bubble
and Tarantula are missing.
Stop!
Wait up!
What are you doing? That's my package.
Not now it isn't.
Bubble, do something!
It's the provisions for our journey.
Why? Where are you going?
We'll have real adventures. Coming?
Rubber sent me to the Post Office.
Give me my package or I'll tell.
So tell!
Go crying to your mummy, Bäschteli.
My scout name is Tarantula.
We're no longer with the scouts, Tarantula
You're really mean!
Don't you dare tell anyone we're going
to see Fritz Bühler in Zurich.
Knucklehead!
Can we go now?
I'm tho dreadfully sorry.
If there'th anything I can do...
Where's the nearest phone?
We must phone Bäschteli's parents!
In the potht offith at Carona.
Forget that bloody nincompoop! Come on!
Let me go! I won't tell anyone
where you're going! - No way.
You're coming with us.
If you let me go, you'll get beef jerky.
No dice. It's mine anyway.
Our parents! - Run for cover!
I want to go back.
No way. We're going to Zurich.
And if Fritzli Bühler doesn't live there?
He might live some place else and
we've crossed this mountain in vain.
Yeah, what do we do then?
Fritzli Bühler does live in Zurich.
Auntie Melanie gets a postcard each
April 1st with Zurich's snowman on it.
What if he doesn't want to see us?
Not want to see us? The King of Rascals?
Maybe he's turned into a normal grown-up.
Think again.
He will never be a normal grown-up.
And so I ask you,
from one rascal to another,
from one scoundrel to another:
Who wants to go back
to his parents, to school,
back to the scouts,
while there's a Fritzli Bühler
and a treasure in Lake Titicaca?
To Zurich!
To Zurich! Let's go!
Dammit!
Dear viewer, as if our flight hadn't
already been fraught with obstacles,
Wrigley had broken his pedal.
Taking it apart is one thing.
But putting it back together...
And added to the technical stuff
the aggravation of finding that
it just lacked a drop of oil.
But what good does all the oil in the
world do when the ball bearing breaks?
16 tiny balls...
There are 16 of these. If one is lost,
Wrigley will walk to Zurich.
I've found ten, so there must be 7 more.
Did I get that wrong?
Hold it!
No!
What are you doing to my chickens?
Help me! I was kidnapped!
Thieves! Bloody thieves!
Don't leave me alone!
If I catch you, I'll show you!
I'm gonna get my gun!
Oh no!
Go on!
Why do I have to go up there?
Cause it's your fault we've got this
girlie hanging around. Are you scared?
It's kinda high up.
If I fall and hit my head...
You'll know what 16 minus 10 is.
Come here, cluckety-cluck!
Got ya!
So come down.
Stay up there.
Oh my!
Salvatore! What are you doing?
Shooting. Can't you see?
Come on!
Let go!
I'm too high up!
They're kids!
They're bloody thieves!
I'm confiscating this gun!
It's mine! - Salvatore!
Salvatore, let go!
Or they'll shoot!
Stalder is doing this on purpose.
Don't get worked up.
Ruedi is simply a cautious man.
Vreni, the sleeping car has arrived.
See how dangerous? If I'd taken this bend
at 40 mph we'd be dead!
You bloody wops! Stand aside!
Go on! Finito siesta.
Have you a bit problem?
Have you visto 4 kids con bikes?
4 kids on bicycles?
Yes, exactly. Have you seen them?
Yes, I have. And who are you?
The mother... this is the papa.
Ah, the papa?
Attention! Attention!
The church clock is saved!
These are the kids' parents.
A miracle!
What did you say to that wop?
This doesn't look good.
That guy is nuts!